Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in suicidalbliss' LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 25th, 2004
12:41 pm	H.I.M.- Join Me in Death Baby join me in death Baby join me in death Baby join me in death We are so young our lives have just begun but already we're considering escape from this world and we've waited for so long for this moment to come we're anxious to be together together in death Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Won't you die Baby join me in death Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death This world is a cruel place and we're here only to lose so before life tears us apart let death bless me with you Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Won't you die Baby join me in death Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Join me in death This life it ain't worth living This life it ain't worth living This life it ain't worth living Join me Join me join me this life ain't worth living (join me) this life ain't worth living (join me) this life ain't worth living Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Won't you die Baby join me in death Won't you die tonight for love Baby join me in death Baby join me in death (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 24th, 2004
11:23 am	Vivica- Jack Off Jill Oh Vivica I wish you well I watch you burn in humid hell No sleeping pills no old tattoos will save you now He'll never change he's just too vague he'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable... Oh Vivica I wish you well I watch you sit I watch you dwell No crooked spine no torn up rag will save you now He'll never change he's not that brave He'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable... Oh Vivica I wish you well I'll sit right here I'll never tell no tender scar no twist of fate will save you now He'll never change he's just not there He'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you will I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable... She's empty and so beautiful I'll keep her here with me Current Mood: crushed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 18th, 2004
10:46 am	Ultimate Highschool Quiz Name Favorite color redblackpinkbluepurplegreenyelloworangewhite Sex Favorite type of music countryindustrialtechnopoprockmetalpunkpoprapnoneother Dorks are.. gaylosershella raddiseased Sporks are.. a kitchen utensilawesomestupidlamegay Your classmates think you are.. a Goth You will graduate at age 18. TRUE Will you get laid in highschool? (8) - Most likely. - (8) What percentage of the student body hates you? - 88% Largest amount of cash offered to you for sex $69.55 This QuickKwiz by imabigburrito13 - Taken 10592 Times. </a> New! Get Free Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz (Comment on this)
Monday, May 17th, 2004
3:14 pm	Lacuna Coil- Tight Rope/Heaven's a Lie Delighting minds With my shadow Rely on your way to grow You want to decide From your cloud You're lost in a world That I have to repair You want it all The greatest smile Who wants to deny forever? You're made of ice I pay the price For all your unforgiveness Enlighting lies With my shame Beneath the veil Of your flow Don't try to deny With your mouth So fine it is knowing You're under the shade ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh no, here it is again I need to know when I will fall in decay Something wrong with every plan of my life I didn't really notice that you've been here Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free Oh no, here it is again I need to know why did I choose to betray you Something wrong with all the plans of my life I didn't realize that you've been here Dolefully desired Destiny of a lie Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free Set me free your heaven's lie set me free with you love set me free Current Mood: chipper (Comment on this)
10:47 am	Dear Die-ary, I feel fuckin' sick -_-;; I knew I shouldn't have drunk so much. @_@ heh heh. I have a headache. ;-; I went to Jenna's party on Saturday, and got drunk off my ass. That was the first time I have ever gotten sick from too much alcohol. x_x But it was fun... until everyone had a hangover the next day... that sucked. I think I might still have one... I dunno.Yesterday I went to the mall and stole a shitload of stuff. I got a spiked choker with a D-ring in the middle from Hot-Topic, some arm warmers, some Emily Strange socks, some more white face powder, I a pot leaf wallet, and a pentacle wrist band thingy. heh heh. It was fucking great. i think I wanna go again this weekend. I need a cigarette... x_x and some sleepy time. So uh... I'm gonna go. -Jessicka Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
2:45 pm	I can't exist anymore till I destroy you I hate everyone Don't know what to do Ingesting flesh and bone makes me a cannibal Or am I criminal? I feel so horrible Horrible Now everything's horrible Horrible Sucking on colorforms Becoming see through Still hating everyone as I detest you I do not feel wrong this makes me durable or am I criminal I'm so damn horrible Horrible Now everything's horrible Horrible Fade into yesterday Searching for my youth Trying to digest it all Searching for the truth Self centered devil spawn This makes me durable Or am I criminal I'm fucking horrible Horrible Now everything's horrible Horrible Horrible Now everything's horrible Horrible Horrible (Comment on this)
2:25 pm	Poor Impulse Control -Jack Off Jill I envy your demise I hope it's all you dreamed it would be one bullet in this gun not sure if it's for you or me I envy your demise with all the guilt you hid away all the lies that I had spun and all the times I wished you stayed All that I'll ever limit all that I'll ever try all that I'll ever trust you can always cover me with makeup I envy your demise seven hundred and fifty degrees when it burned it smelled a lot like you but it scorched and looked a lot like me I envy your demise you never said that you'd try when I had to lose control lose control to really cry Now, all that I'll ever abuse all that I'll ever see all that I'll ever ruin you can always cover me with makeup All that I'll ever limit all that I'll ever try all that I'll ever trust All that I'll ever limit all that I'll ever try all that I'll ever trust you can always cover it with makeup (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 11th, 2004
2:27 pm	Razorblade Sky by Queen Adreena I rip open clouds with no faces, She undoes herself for a slice of your pie Razorblade sky, Razorblade sky I quench your thirst I bleed you dry, Help you make your bed come undone Razorblade sky, Razorblade sky Identifying marks our history picked out in stars, We rip open the firmament Razorblade sky, Forever and ever and ever (6 Comments |Comment on this)
2:17 pm	http://www.spookyland.com/ heh heh. Good Site. It's by Roman Dirge who is the creator of "Lenore". I fucking love him!<3<3<3 (Comment on this)
2:15 pm	MUAHAHAHAHAHA Current Mood: bored (Comment on this)
2:12 pm	;-; Unto Ashes - Teach Me How to Drown - There's something I can't do I don't know how Just asking for some rope It's killing me; I'm way out here I can't see the shore... Teach you how to swim, teach me how to drown Teach you how to swim, teach me how to drown Hold on to me tight Don't let me drift away Just asking for your hand It's killing me; Sinking into warmth nothing left but down... Teach you how to swim, teach me how to drown Teach you how to swim, teach me how to drown Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 4th, 2004
9:28 am	Dear Die-ary, I had a long fuckin' weekend!!! It was fun though. Except for the part that I can nolonger talk to one of my bestfriends that I've known for years. ;-; My friend (well, girlfriend now XD) and I smoked inside her house and drank a whole bunch of their alcohol. heh heh. I went to the movies on Friday, with Sarah (the one I can nolonger talk to) and her cousin Mariah, and we met up with a whole bunch of her friends. We went into the movie "Mean Girls" and decided we didn't want to see it. So we changed our ticket over to see "Envy". The kids I was there with offered me some "soda"... or vadca. XD heh heh. Then some girl spilt it everywhere, so we left the movies, hung out in front of goodwill, and chain smoked. Then we went to Sarah's house to spend the night and get drunk. But they ended up turning the alarm on to where if we were to open a window or door to go outside, the burgular alarm would go off. So my girlfriend and I ended up drinking and smoking in her downstairs bathroom until 6:00 in the morning. But that was just Saturday. Yesterday my boyfriend, girlfriend and I ended up getting together again and going to the mall. We went to hottopic and stole a shitload of stuff. heh heh. I'm supposed to get an application to work there. But anyway, my new boyfriend's mom is a hair dresser, and told me that if I went into her work sometime she would bleach and dye my hair for free. She's gonna dye it blue with white streaks. XD. That's what I'm hoping for anyway. So if I do, I'll have to wait another 2 and a half weeks till school's out. I also met a girl at the mall who does loebrets and nose peircings. She's gonna do some for me over the summer also. heh heh. I went to break up with my boyfriend yesterday, and he dumped me before I could dump him. XD I gotta go work. x_x -Jessicka Current Mood: bored (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 26th, 2004
3:08 pm	Which Rock Chick Are You? (Comment on this)
2:47 pm	(Comment on this)
2:44 pm	http://www.markryden.com This is one of my favorite artists. XD (Comment on this)
2:24 pm	Jack Off Jill/Scarling pics Current Mood: hungry (Comment on this)
2:14 pm	Jack Off Jill- Angels Fuck Lyrics I woke up, morning I woke up dead today I aged a thousand years or more I flinch when you are nice You kill me with a single word When angels fuck and devils kiss, I'm sure I'll bask in your forever You just waste my time I want to drag you down, down with me I wanted to help, to help destroy the world I wanted to be that, to be that special girl Everybody's got a little something to hide, but me Everybody's got a little someone to crush, but me I'm living in a human teenage mediocrity Everybody's got a little someone to trust, but me I dreamed that I was you I dreamed your ego died Sad who loves you more than I do I know you lied I'll bask in your forever Fucking waste of time Angels fuck and devils screw I wanted to heal me and then destroy the world Piss in your heart and be that, and be that special girl Everybody's got a little something to hide but me Everybody's got a little someone to crush but me I'm living in a teenage negative mediocrity Everybody's got a little someone to trust but me But me, but you Not me Hate you Love me, love me, hate you Want me, fuck you, hate me Kill you Fuck me, like you, want me Like you want you fuck you Fuck me, fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck me Fuck you, fuck me, fuck you fuck you fuck me (you never loved me) Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you fuck you fuck me I will never make it better I will never make it better It will always hurt you fucking asshole Jack Off Jill-When I Am Queen Lyrics When I am queen I will insist with perfect scars upon my wrists that everything you once held dear is taken away from you When I am queen sweet girlscout's face and not a one will fall from grace If all their hearts I could replace, but until then I'll have to... Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown When I am queen on royal thrown made out of parts of broken bones of all the devils I have known that suck the angels dry When I am queen I'll have my way I'll make it drowning dollie day and all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown Hush baby hush baby Hush baby go to sleep Hush baby hush baby Hush baby I'll make it be When I am queen I will not wait my body type will still be great I will not leave it up to fate because I hate you too When I am queen they all will see the patron saint of self-injury the glitter sores will heal themselves I'll play the part of someone else Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown drown drown myself Drown (Comment on this)
1:56 pm	Dear Die-ary, Remind me to bring the "rusted kiddy squiggly scizzors" with me next time I decide to drink with a guy... *snip snip* MUAHAHAHAHA >:D God was my co-piolet on a plane, and then we crashed and I ate him. >:) (Comment on this)
1:53 pm	Vivica by Jack Off Jill Oh Vivica I wish you well I watch you burn in humid hell No sleeping pills no old tattoos will save you now He'll never change he's just too vague he'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable Oh Vivica I wish you well I watch you sit I watch you dwell No crooked spine no torn-up rag will save you now He'll never change he's not like me He'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable Oh Vivica I wish you well I'll sit right here I'll never tell no tender scar no twist of fate will save you now He'll never change he's just not there He'll never say you're beautiful Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do The apple falls far from the tree she's rotten and so beautiful I'd like to keep her here with me and tell her that she's beautiful She takes the pills to fall asleep and dreams that she's invisible Tormented dreams she stays awake recalls when she was capable She's empty and so beautiful I'll keep her here with me Current Mood: hungover (Comment on this)
1:09 pm	Dear Die-ary, Okay. I decided I'm going to talk. Saturday, when I spent the night at Sara's house we decided we wanted to get drunk for the second night in a row. Then we went out front to smoke a ciggarette, and we ended up seeing a guy named Juan, that we had met on Halloween. He asked us what we were doing tonight and we told him we were going to drink. I ended up giving him $4.00 for a 20/20 (which I had never had.) He got back, gave it to us, and went back home. He called my cell later, (because like a dumbass I gave it to him. And I told him to come over and party with us. We ended up drinking in the front yard, and it just so happened that I got more drunk than I ever have before. When I started to pass out, the fucker whipped it out, and started forcing me to do things with him. IN HER FRONT FUCKING YARD! She later had to carry me inside the house. I fell asleep like half an hour later, and the next morning I left to go home. I just wanted to see my boyfriend... I remember everytime I would get upset, I'd wait till the end of school because I knew I would feel better just seeing him. At the time I had told no one what had happened except Sara. But I started to breakdown, so i made the decision tto call up one of my closest friends and ask her what I should do. I can't tell my brother inlaw because last time something lilke that happened... uh... yah. And I don't feel it would be right to put them through more shit... after all, they're finnally to tthe point to where they are atleast happy.I can't even imagine how long I've been waiting to see that. And that'swhat really keeps me alive. Is seeing that they're happy, and that I don't have to do more damage or ruin that in any way...But anyway, I talked to my other friend, and brokedown even more in the process. I didn't tell her exactly what was going on, but I told her the basics and asked her if I should tell my boyfriend. She told me I needed to... So I did... I remember talking to my famioly and them telling me that if anything is to happen to me like that to tell them. I always told them I would after what happened the time before. Although now I feel I can't... it's m,y own fault. I don't want to put them through anymore than I already have. I feel better now though. Atlest better than yesterday... I'm just hoping it doesn't hit me really bad, and I end up doing something stupid like hurting myself... but to prevent that, I decided that I would ask my mom today if I canget a new councilor. I'm not nessacerally going toi tell her exactly why, but I figured the counsilor might be able to help me get it out to my mom.But anyway... I don't think I really want to go into details about what happened. Not at the moment anyway... -Jessicka (4 Comments |Comment on this)